Subconscious Beliefs & The House of Cards
Hidden beneath your conscious thoughts are subconscious programs actually running the show. Your subconscious mind is a collection of memories and belief systems that have been adopted from the world around you, such as your family, society, your peers, and your experiences. Ages 0 through 7 are the most important times for forming your subconscious belief systems, though if we are being generous, up to age 14.
We can continue having powerful experiences, both positive and negative, that shape neural pathways in our minds throughout our life, but that first decade or so sets us up for adaptive or maladaptive patterning, until we take the necessary and disciplined actions of changing them, or something bigger comes along to change them.
Think of it in terms of electricity. Your synapses (thoughts) are electrical signals sent throughout your brain. The more often or with more intensity you have a certain thought, the stronger that synapse becomes therefore creating neural pathways. Electricity follows the path of least resistance, so the more reinforced a thought pattern is, the quicker that synapse fires. Ingrained synaptic connections become belief systems that then begin to shape the external world around you. What you believe, you see in the world. Then, those external circumstances reflect to you those old neural pathways, reinforcing those beliefs. So seeing is believing, and believing is seeing. It is a closed loop, running on autopilot in your subconscious mind.
Your subconscious belief systems are similar to a House of Cards.
The uppermost level of cards show several silly, minor, yet consistent patterns and behaviors that show up in your daily life. It’s the projection of you that shines out to the world, things you are consciously aware of. Oftentimes, everybody in your life knows about it, and it can often be laughable, seemingly inconsequential or insignificant. Perhaps these behaviors cause feelings of annoyance or irritation, but it’s something you’ve most likely just accepted as “just the way I am.”
For this example, let’s say that Jessica is always losing or misplacing everything. Her phone always goes missing, her keys are never where they should be. Maybe she even laughs at herself for how ‘spacey’ she is, and her friends and family keep a running joke of her ‘short-term memory loss’.
The next level down shows that those behaviors have consequences from time to time. Usually friends and family are aware of these patterns and maybe point them out to say, “Hey, this sometimes can cause some issues, how about you consider having a solution so this doesn’t keep happening?” Emotionally, the feelings of frustration deepen as consequences arise, but again, it seems to be something that ‘just is’.
Because Jessica is always misplacing something, say her keys, she’s usually 5-10 minutes late to everything. Her friends and family know to add at least 5 minutes to however long she says she will be because they know she often forgets something at home and has to turn around, or spends a few minutes rummaging through her purse to find her keys. The people close to her tell her to leave her keys in the same place every time she gets home, but it seems to just go in one ear and out the other.
Taking another step deeper into the sequence, we find that the previous behaviors, stemming from the ‘insignificant’ behaviors at the top of the tower, are more damaging and cause even greater consequences. These are patterns that are not readily shared with new people or on a first date, but close friends and family know that this is a recurring issue. This is the first level where people actively start trying to address these issues, but can have a really hard time changing these behaviors or patterns, no matter what they try to do. These lower sets of behaviors often cause feelings of shame or embarrassment, and may cause an emotional meltdown every now and then.
Jessica has been fired from several jobs because she is late so often. Her mother tells her that she needs to have better time management skills and gets frustrated with her inability to show up on time. She had a fight with one of her best friends because she wouldn’t arrive on time for meetings, and her friend told her that she feels like her time isn’t important to Jessica, which caused friction in their friendship. Jessica really cares about her relationships and can’t seem to figure out why being on time is so challenging for her, even when she tries all sorts of things to mitigate the problem. She begins to feel really badly about herself and has negative self-talk about these issues.
After these patterns have caused damage to relationships and other life aspects, they can cause very low self-esteem and emotional distress. This is where we begin to get into the subconscious mind to identify the root of the issue. This lower level is usually the first place we can start to tie connections together to several of the upper level patterns and behaviors. We start to find that these behaviors show up in more ways than what the client is aware of at first.
When doing the ‘digging work’, Jessica said that the pattern of always being late and being considered ‘spacey’ lowered her self-esteem, especially because it damages her relationships and makes it really hard to hold down a job. Her financial situation has never really been that great because she can’t hold down a job long enough to create adequate savings or earn benefits. In fact, at her last job she was told by her boss that she was ‘not worth their time’ when she was let go. Jessica also remembers the fight with her friend that told her she felt like she didn’t respect her friend’s time. This prompts her to realize that she also keeps attracting romantic partners that don’t make her feel worthy of their time (i.e. workaholics, cheaters, even friends that often cancel plans). She begins to see the connections between these various aspects in her life and understands that she has belief systems that are creating these types of dynamics throughout all areas of her life.
After digging through all the upper and lower levels, we finally arrive at the bottom level, where these patterns and belief systems were created. These often trace back to childhood, but can also stem from past life experiences that created significant trauma and were left unresolved, so they were brought into this lifetime to try to resolve them. These beliefs are often painful and linked to significant life events and have deep emotional wounding attached to them. When we get to this level, clients will often experience an emotional reaction when these levels are ‘touched’ - the client can get angry, sad, or even laugh. However, this is the most important piece to clear because it is the root of several different maladaptive behaviors, and once cleared, many different behaviors and belief systems clear and resolve simultaneously.
In our session, Jessica explains that she had an alcoholic father who often forgot to pick her up from school on time, if at all. Jessica, in her childhood, began to believe that she wasn’t worth her dad’s time. This belief was strengthened when he eventually walked out on her family. Because of her emotional distress of her father leaving, she became ‘checked out’ and apathetic. She was then told by her 2nd grade teacher that she was too difficult to teach and she should be put in a program with other kids with learning disabilities, therefore creating the belief that she was ‘stupid’ and not worth anyone’s time.
Her Key Core Beliefs are:
“I am not worth anyone’s time”
“No matter what I do, it’s never enough”
“Other people are smarter than me, so I shouldn’t even try”
The Key Core Belief is the bottommost card that is the root of all these other behaviors and patterns. When we find the Key Core Belief, we make the connection to all the other situations that are preventing someone from living out their most fulfilling reality. After it is canceled/cleared/pulled/resolved through the ThetaHealing Technique, all of the other “upper level” patterns disappear as well. These belief systems are then reprogrammed to something more helpful. The new neural pathways replace the old belief systems and the client begins to see their external reality change as a result of their internal, subconscious beliefs.
When Jessica finally got to the root of these Key Core Beliefs and did the subconscious reprogramming through ThetaHealing, she had a massive emotional release and realized that she really was worth people’s time, she just had been taught differently through traumatic experiences. She reprogrammed those old beliefs with new, more empowering ones such as:
“I know how, I know what it feels like, and I know it is possible to be worthy of people’s time.”
“I am always enough, no matter what I do or don’t do.”
“I know how, I know what it feels like, and I know it is possible to succeed at anything I put my mind to.”
She stopped placing her worth on other peoples’ validation of her and even found her passion in a completely new line of work. She’s thriving in this new career and her self-esteem is much higher, because people look up to her in her field. She started dating a new partner who visibly shows effort to make her feel that she is worthy of their time and prioritizes the relationship. She no longer loses her things and is almost always on time, except in circumstances outside of her control. Jessica even made amends with her father and they talk on the phone once a week. Her life has dramatically improved in all aspects and she notices the shifts in both subtle and overt ways.
Through the ThetaHealing Technique, repetition, and emotional intensity, you can change your neural pathways to support healthier, fulfilling, and empowering belief systems. ThetaHealing is immediate, direct, potent, and lasting! You are not doomed to your bad habits, low self-worth, or shameful past. Just by being incarnate, you are worthy of living your most fulfilling life.
You’ve found this message because there’s something in you ready to heal, and a new life ready to be created.
Email me at jaelyn@celestial-sisters.com or book your ThetaHealing session HERE.
Written By: Jaelyn Kohl