Soulmates & Divine Timing

It’s so common to hear about the age-old notion of the “right place at the right time” when it comes to meeting someone special.

But sometimes, our perfect soulmate finds us at the wrong time. It can be such a painful experience when that depth of connection is so potent, and yet, there are just pieces to the connection we can’t make fit together. 

No matter how hard you try, you just can’t make it work. 

It feels like the Universe keeps throwing obstacles in the way, or the train gets completely derailed by some cosmic event.

Maybe one party is still in a relationship with someone else, and their heart is split in two directions. Sometimes even both of them are faced with difficult decisions - the kind that just can’t be made overnight.

Maybe, one person is fresh in their healing process. There’s often little room for emotional connection when still tending to the wounds of the past.

Or, we come across our “diamond in the rough” soulmate, the soulmate that sparks something very real within the heart, but they haven’t begun their healing process at all and are still behaving from low self-worth and old, maladaptive behaviors. 

Regardless of the circumstances, soulmates, by nature, are always influenced by Divine Timing.

See, as souls travel along their individual intended paths, they are picking up soul lessons for their highest evolutions. Think about radio frequencies - in your hometown, you have a radio station you love. They play music that aligns with you, their DJs are enjoyable to listen to, you don't even really mind their ads. 

But one day, you’re moving away, onto bigger and better things. You tune into your favorite station, only to realize that the farther you get from your hometown, the more fuzzy the connection becomes. The static becomes maddening as you fiddle through the dial to try to get that connection clear again. 

Until all of a sudden, you find a new station, one that is playing some sort of music that sparks something within you. You’ve nearly reached your destination by this point, and you experience a deep sense of relief for a clear connection. It brings a sense of joy, curiosity, and excitement to your heart, and all you want to do is turn it up. This new frequency feels much more aligned with who you are now, in this new time in your life.

Soulmates and soul-connections are just like these radio frequencies. What used to align and fit at one time, won’t always resonate and harmonize with your next iteration of life. 

You simply understand that who you used to be is different from who you are becoming. And some others around you will only harmonize with the past version of yourself. But it’s important to trust that there will be other soul connections that align with your next highest version of self along your journey. Or even, the soulmate you encountered before may have been traveling a similar path, just a different route, and you connect on a similar wavelength farther down the road.

If you’re questioning whether your timing is right with a significant soul-connection or soulmate, here are a couple things to consider.

How to know when the timing isn’t right:

You feel that you keep trying to force things to work. 

Over and over again, you keep encountering boundaries, obstacles, challenges, and emotional distress when it comes to your relationship. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting, and you don’t seem to make any progress.

You are in different stages of life.

If one person is completely committed to growing their career and the other is more concerned with building a family, or someone wants to travel the world and the other wants to buy a home, this could indicate these people are in different stages of their life, and the Divine Timing is not aligned to support both person’s desires. A compromise here would cost one or both people their joy or fulfillment.

You have different intentions for being in a relationship.

It could be that one of you is clear that you desire long-term commitment and settling down, and the other still prioritizes new life experiences and ultimate freedom. This could be an age difference or just a preference, but if one person is more interested in a purely playful, sexual, casual relationship and the other is looking for something stable, the Divine Timing is off. This does not mean that any one person is “wrong” and the other is “right”. It just means that their souls are craving different things.

There are significant opportunities that one party wants to pursue, but the other person is either unwilling or incapable of joining in on that opportunity.

This will often come down to location and geography. For example, say John finally gets his dream job in New York City just a couple months after starting to see Jane, but Jane is under a 2-year employment contract in San Francisco. They are both clear they don’t want a long-distance relationship for something so new, so it is clear their Divine Timing is taking them in two different directions.

One person is either just beginning their healing work or is still stuck in regressive behavior, while the other person is deeply committed to their spiritual path.

As hard as it is, we have to remember that we are only responsible for our own spiritual journeys. We can act as anchors of support, we can provide guidance and compassion, but ultimately, we can’t walk anyone else’s path for them. In these cases, it is best to be an example for the other and set a precedence for what is expected. When boundaries are crossed continuously, it is time to understand that the Divine Timing is just not right. There may be an opportunity in the future, but only after the other person has committed to their healing. These kinds of soulmate relationships are called the ‘diamond in the rough’. They still have a significant amount of self-work to do, and even though the deep love and bond is there, it is just not the right timing.

One or both people have significant commitments or soul-contracts with other people to honor and fulfill.

In this instance, there is an obvious obstacle (or several) to the partnership, such as legally-binding contracts (marriage to another person) or professional barriers, such as boss-employee dynamics or patient-client relationships. If the timing was right, these barriers wouldn’t be there. Period. If you have ever found yourself in this situation, know that the connection was still real and important for your own spiritual growth, but the Universe did not intend for you to live out a healthy, fulfilling relationship with this person at this time. It’s possible that in the future the other person gets a divorce, or switches careers/companies, but it is never your place to force someone out of an existing commitment or obligation.

One party is dealing with an intense emotional experience, such as loss of a loved one or painful ending to a previous relationship.

As difficult as it is to watch someone we care for in pain, a soulmate relationship that begins in such a raw time in someone’s life isn’t always set up for success. When life has put someone in these deep emotional experiences, they are often incapable of holding appropriate emotional space for a relationship. This time in their life is more about taking care of themselves and focusing on their own healing than building new connections.

At these times, it is crucial to avoid codependent behaviors of trying to ‘save’ someone from these emotional depths; this process is theirs to navigate on their own. You are always encouraged to offer support, but again, this is not your burden to bear. On the other side, if you two are meant to be, they will be a much more emotionally capable partner capable of sovereignty and self-care once they have adequately processed their emotions and done the work to heal.

You keep coming back into reconnection, but every time, there’s a barrier of some sort that ultimately ends up separating you again.

These examples are often indicative of a Twin Flame relationship. Twin Flames are two kindred souls who are important mirrors to each other, with the important purpose of catalyzing one another’s highest evolution and spiritual growth. Twin Flames often operate on a spiral of time, frequently on a lifetime-to-lifetime basis. They are marked by deep, intense periods of connection and extended, painful periods of separation. However, each connection period makes way for an incredibly expansive time of separation. Each time these souls separate, their spiritual growth is exponentially activated. Then, when it is time to reconnect, they are both on a higher level of consciousness and soul evolution. If you want to know more about this dynamic, read my Twin Flame article HERE.

So, what does it look like when the Divine Timing is aligned?

How to know when the timing IS right for a soulmate relationship:

There is a sense of ease in the relationship.

Things just start flowing effortlessly. Blocks and barriers seem to move out of the way on their own. Perhaps these two people are wanting to plan a time to get together, whereas their schedules have previously been too stacked to coordinate. Magically, they both have cancellations that align in the perfect timing to take a weekend getaway or plan an evening out. There tends to be minimal effort to the connection.

Cosmic and spontaneous events occur that align these two people.

Just like the example above, the Universe makes its intentions clear in mysterious and magical ways. In another example, John’s lease is up at the same time as Jane’s roommate spontaneously decides to move out, right when they start talking about moving in together. It could also be that Jane happens to be on a work trip in John’s city, when he’s been calling in a new partner. They match on a dating app, go out for dinner, and within a period of time, Jane’s company offers her a position in John’s city.

You are on the same page about what you want out of a relationship.

There’s transparency in what you’re looking for in a partnership, without major differences. You share the same goals of having a family, retaining independence, or establishing particular roles within your dynamic. It’s important that you agree on what kind of relationship you want, such as monogamy or having an open relationship. You speak openly and honestly about what you really want, are willing to compromise on small stuff, but also stand in integrity with your ‘big ticket’ items. It is easy to communicate about your intentions for the relationship, and you both feel seen, heard, and understood.

Both people are committed to their own spiritual and personal growth.

One of the most difficult things when it comes to soulmate relationships is when one person is on a path to self-discovery and the other is stuck in fixed behaviors and mindsets. In a soulmate relationship with Divine Timing, both parties are aware of their wounding and behaviors and are willing to communicate openly and work through them together. They help to support each other when the big things come up, but also know the importance of letting each other walk their own sovereign paths as well. They grow at the same rate, and no one is left behind.

There are no obvious boundaries, such as one or both people engaged in other committed relationships.

Also known as, both parties are single and whole on their own, not looking for someone to complete them or save them. Even though sometimes conflicts and difficult dynamics can still exist with past relationships, soulmates who meet in Divine Timing are relatively unperturbed by their previous engagements and remain uninfluenced by them. The energy is clear between them, without interference, dishonesty, or shadow. 

There has been adequate time between previous relationships for healing.

Though some people move on quicker than others, or some past relationships are easier to move on from than others, Divine Timing ensures that the appropriate amount of time needed for resolution and clearing after a previous relationship has occurred before bringing together soulmates that are in alignment with Divine Timing. That’s not to say you can’t meet someone while still grieving the loss of a previous relationship, but the Universe will not bring you two together for your full potential while one or both of you are still processing the previous relationship.

You’ve come into contact with them, knowingly or unknowingly, several times previously but never really connected in a deep way until now.

This is one of those super magical instances, where you have both orbited each other for some amount of time. Maybe you both frequent the same restaurant, but never interacted. Maybe they live in your same building, but you’ve only shared small talk in the elevator a couple times. Perhaps you have the same friend group, but you’ve only really heard about each other through mutual friends. Then one day, the Universe brings you together yet again, and this time, you talk for hours and find many kismet connections and similarities. The connection finally clicks and you feel a sense of excitement about the possibility of entering into a deeper dynamic together.

You share a similar vision or purpose in life.

Divine Life Partners come together for the purpose of carrying out a specific action, such as bringing children into the world together or changing the world in some way. Oftentimes their stories have very similar timelines, connecting perfectly at the right time to begin an important project or build a family. They have the missing piece to each other’s puzzle and there is nothing in the way. It feels clear that they have a similar mission and can help each other fulfill their own destinies. This is what you call a “power couple!”

If you’ve found that the Divine Timing is or is not particularly aligning with your soulmate at this time, here are a few things you can consider.

What to do if your soulmate does not share your Divine Timing:

Raise your self-worth into alignment with what you want to call in.

Sometimes you need to focus solely on your OWN personal growth before trying to move into a deeper connection with a soulmate, especially if you are recovering from a previous relationship or intense period of your life. Take the time to raise your own self-worth, take excellent self-care, and get clear on what you want out of a partnership and you will find yourself aligned with your highest potential and therefore magnetize the right partner for you. This is a golden rule.

Communicate openly!

If you truly feel that there is a meaningful connection with this person, be honest with them. Maybe you say something like, “I feel a deep connection with you and I feel like you have a piece to my puzzle in some way. I truly want the best for you and it’s clear that the timing for this connection just isn’t quite right, but I’d love to stay in touch as friends/keep you in my life platonically.”

Another example could sound like, “I’m really looking for something committed and long-term, and from what I understand we’re in different places with that concept right now. If you ever change your mind or feel differently, I would likely still be open for connection because I appreciate you and you mean a lot to me. But in the meantime, I am going to pursue/look for a relationship that shares my same intentions.”

Honor the boundaries and other commitments of the other person.

Never, ever, EVER push an issue with someone who has other obligations, such as a marriage or family. This is not your place to disrupt their own soul’s journey. Doing so communicates that you are in a place of low self-worth (desperation). Instead, trust that they are honoring the path their soul has chosen and know that you are on your own path as well. This communicates high self-worth to the Universe, and the Universe will ultimately respond with a partnership that is in deeper integrity and alignment with what you desire, whether that is this person in a different time, or a completely new soulmate that has been orbiting you.

Know that what’s meant for you will always find its way.

There is a certain level of grace required to understand Divine Timing. You can maintain your desires and keep asking the Universe for an alignment with this particular person, but you should never hold up the rest of your life waiting on someone else. Keep treading along your own path, because when you do so, you may just find yourself bumping back into this person again in the correct timing.

Remember that there was a reason you crossed paths at that particular time.

We never bump into anyone, particularly a soul-level connection by accident. Even if the relationship didn’t work or align with Divine Timing, they still had their imprint on you and the soul contract may have been fulfilled, even just by the short interaction. Some of the shortest relationships are actually some of the most pivotal, because they give us a chance to get really clear on what we DO want, or give us the necessary soul lessons to move on to find someone who is in perfect alignment with us. Some soul connections push us further onto our individual paths, even if it is a brief encounter.

Just because the Divine Timing wasn’t right at one particular time, doesn’t mean it will never be right. 

It is not up to us to have Divine Timing “all figured out.” There is SO much magic in the Universe that we aren’t meant to know exactly how everything is going to work out. Plus, if we knew exactly what was going to happen and when, we would miss out on so many crucial life lessons and experiences! Trust that there is a Divine Plan to your life - one you helped to co-create. You will always end up with the person you are meant to be with in the end, whether that is a ‘diamond in the rough’ that got their act together, a Twin Flame who has committed to stability, or a Divine Life partner that appeared in the perfect timing.

I’ll share a quick story of a couple I met while traveling abroad. They were sweethearts in school, but life took them different directions. They both had other marriages, had children, and took different paths. The man, as I heard his version of the story, always felt that he would reconnect with her someday. He told me he prayed to God all the time, “Please bring her back to me.” They kept in touch, but platonically, respecting each others’ paths. All of a sudden one day, by a series of incredible spontaneous events, he felt the urge to call her and check in while he was helping a friend in Denver. She told him her husband of 20 years had recently died. He offered to come to help her settle the affairs and comfort her, and that he could be on the next flight to LA. She responded, “I’m in Denver.” Needless to say, their Divine Timing aligned with the magic of the Universe. 

This story gives me chills and brings a tear to my eye with the beauty of what Divine Timing can do if we just trust the direction of our lives.

From my personal experience,

I have come into contact with several soulmates that were influenced by Divine Timing...actually, every single one.

One would have worked out so beautifully, had we met later on after I had some time to process a previous relationship. We were deeply aligned in our personalities, goals, and desires for a relationship, but my heart was simply not capable of showing up to this new relationship in the highest and best possible way.

One was a Twin Flame and a ‘diamond in the rough.’ I was deeply committed to my spiritual path, though I was also involved with another person. We met through Divine Timing, whereas we had orbited each other for years and never met. We found wild synchronicities wherein we were at the same concert, alone, within just a few feet of each other, we had close mutual friends, we even worked next door to each other, just at different times. Our destiny brought us together in a foreign land, filled with magic and enchantment. Yet, the connection was too intense. He was still early on his spiritual growth journey, and I was committed to another person. The Divine Timing that brought us together for our own growth also pulled us in different directions.

And yet, in the thick of that painful period of separation, I encountered another soulmate. Divine Timing brought us together in my hometown, for an event he had been attending for several years and we had never met before. At this time, my heart was, once again, incapable of showing up to a new connection fully. We remained in contact for the better part of a year while I worked to heal my heart and elevate my self-worth once again.

Divine Timing struck again, when the Universe brought him to the city I was living in, and he offered to take me to a concert. I felt the ‘yes’ and accepted his offer. But my self-worth was still not totally in alignment with what he had to offer. So another month passed, and an intuitive nudge called me to reconnect with him again. 

At this time, I was also manifesting a move. My heart felt ready for connection again. My self-worth was restored and I felt expansive. I had passed through my initiation period and was coming out on the other side. Though I felt so strange about this request from my intuition, I contacted him to see if I could come help him with some work to fund my next move. He graciously accepted, and to make a long story short, at the end of my trip he asked me if I would move to California to be with him and start a life. Our Divine Timing was finally correct, and today, we share a business, a life, and a deep love.

I share my story because Divine Timing is truly the most important aspect of soulmate relationships. When we listen to the invitations of our soul lessons, stay open to meaningful connection, and remember that everyone comes into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, we get to see the magic of Divine Timing that runs through every aspect of our intimate connections. 

Written By: Jaelyn Kohl

If you are encountering a soul-level connection and desire clarity on the type of soulmate this interaction may be, reach out to me to schedule an appointment at jaelyn@celestial-sisters.com or follow this link. I’d be honored to help guide you through this soulmate journey!

ADDITIONAL READING YOU MIGHT LIKE:

“Being Soulmates Doesn’t Mean You’re Meant To Be Together”

"Soul Contracts: Karmic, Dharmic, Recognition & Resolution”

“Everything You Need To Know About The Twin Flame Journey”

“How To Recognize A Twin Flame Relationship”