I recently read an article titled, “10 ‘Spiritual’ Things People Do That Are Total Bullshit”. At first I thought it just to be click-bait, a provocative title intended to stir some animosity. However, after reading it I’m really glad I gave it a shot. What I came to find out was that I shared the author’s point of view in many ways. They called out a very common, and often underused term, known as “spiritual bypassing”. She quotes Robert August Masters’ book, Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters, quoting “Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow side, devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.”

After reading this, I felt a small pang of ouch. A minute feeling of, how guilty of this have I been on my path? And the little voice that keeps me sane, which I call my Higher Self, comes in to say, “It’s all a part of the journey. The judgement (of yourself and of others) does not serve you, you can only learn from it.”

What I feel could have been emphasized more in her piece was the fact that learning to live in synchronicity with spirituality, one is required to take accountability for their actions, their beliefs, their limitations, their weaknesses, and overall their shadow aspects.

An important piece to remembering this path is that every one of us has found spirituality through something that was missing; a void. Pretty much every spiritual mentor, friend, and teacher I have met, with the exception of a lucky few, have found their connection to All That Is when they were at the lowest point of their life. They have been broke, abandoned, addicted, fearful, abused, underappreciated, angry, or lonely. I believe it to be of the utmost importance that we remember that it is the framework of nothingness upon which we all started our path to ‘enlightenment’ (a highly overused term but I will go into that at another time). It is crucial to have compassion for that history.

And it is even more important to take accountability for the actions and beliefs that put you in that spot.

Your ex-spouse, your old boss, your parents, your situation growing up, your culture, and your society is not at fault for what has transpired in your life. It is time to stop blaming your situation that has created the reality that you live in. You created your life from the very fabric of your thoughts. I’m certainly not the first person to say this.

Working as a ThetaHealing Practitioner, sometimes this is the hardest Truth for me to deliver. To tell someone that the disease that is slowly taking their life is a physical manifestation of belief systems and the quality of their thoughts, either from this life or something carried down from their family line or past lives... it takes a lot of guts. It’s tough to tell someone that this “demon” that they think is stealing their life-force energy is really a shadow aspect that has gone ignored for far too long. I have to tell people coming from abusive relationships that what happened to them, in many times, is old karma that was necessary to release for their highest growth, and that they invited this type of relationship into their life as a way for the Universe to get them refocused on the learning. I’m many times blessed with a way to speak Truth so that it is received in the highest and best way possible for them at that time, but it still doesn’t get any less scary. And I don’t think it will make someone my friend every time. But I took a vow to speak the Truth when it arrives to me and I know that telling lies or allowing people to look away from their deep problems would be doing a great disservice to the world and to this work.

It is all a way for us to fill a void. A void within ourselves that we carved out because it was too painful to look at, but what we really did was dig a deeper wound and stuff gauze on top so that the blood oozes to the surface every now and again, only to quickly be covered up again. Soon, it grows infection that manifests as shadows. This infection spreads from just one aspect of our psyche into all the other places that are healthy. It is not malicious; it is natural order. When you continue to carve out room for this disease to grow, evolution proves that the disease will move to fill its new space.

I think it’s time for a personal anecdote.

I had deep worthiness issues, insecurity rendering me helpless on occasion. Maybe I should say ‘have’, because it is still a wound I am tending to.

The belief was created first as a small child, around 5 or 6. Being my mother’s youngest child, I believed myself to be the center of her world as my older siblings were out of the house. When she gave birth to my younger brother, he demanded her attention because of his severe premature condition and subsequent illnesses. All of a sudden I was not her world, and as a six year old I felt as though I had become a nuisance or annoyance. I felt as though I was not worthy of her time anymore, because I was healthy.

And so for years after that, I found this wound spread into other parts of my life. I felt like an outcast through elementary years, like I wasn’t cool enough to get invited to all the birthday parties and sleepovers. Then, when I started dating, I noticed I was trying to grip onto these relationships and it only made the guys pull away. The worthiness issue got more painful over time because I didn’t tend to the wound, I pushed it away. Now, I still work through it daily. I struggle with feeling like I am worth the work that I am here to offer. I battle every day against thoughts like, “Who are you to try to be a ThetaHealer/crystal child/energy worker/etc?” or “You can’t be doing this work you have too much to learn still, you don’t know enough yet and you still have tons of ‘stuff’ to clear.” or, my most painful that I’m still learning to be okay with, “You’re too young, other Lightworkers have been practicing this stuff for many more Earth years than you.”

Here, years down the road, I realize that it is not my mom’s fault. It is not my brother’s fault. I take responsibility for how that belief manifested itself in my life and it has given me really amazing healing work to learn. I take my own personal shadow aspects and I consciously breathe new light into them, changing their structure from “Not good enough” to “My work is important”, “You don’t know enough yet to make a big difference” to “I am learning every day how to better serve humanity”, and “People won’t pay for healing sessions with you because of A, B, or C” to “My offering is medicine and those who need it will find me and the money will come too”.

Every day is a practice; plunging my fingers into the bloody insecurity wound to heal the infection that has had over 15 years to fester. I never said it was glamorous. I said it's about accountability. Accountability to me, is understanding in retrospect how things could have been handled differently and taking a vow to make the better decision next time the Universe invites you to the take the test again. Because you will be asked to take the test again. It is a silent promise to yourself to leave the judgment behind, for if you are always operating at your best, you can never have ammunition of which to continue your self-deprecation. Accountability is about leaving the excuses behind - let me tell you, I am the QUEEN of excuses and always have been. And, on the other side of that, it is also about being true to yourself and your individual wants and needs at any one time and listening to that, again without the judgment, to give yourself permission to live your life how you best can - and being accountable for what type of life you create!

It is a Universal Law that when you believe something to be Truth, the Universe will put your belief to the test, to see if you really believe it (I have heard it called the Law of Faith). Every day in some way or another, the Universe tests me to prove that I am here to speak the Truth to anyone who is willing to receive it. I truly believe I am here to serve humanity through conscious communication and healing. The sheer fact that you are here, listening to my words resound inside your own head, means I have aced my exam once again.

Written By: Jaelyn Kohl

If you have never heard of ThetaHealing or if my words today sparked curiosity for you, please check out my ThetaHealing page.

If the Universe is whispering “It’s time to grow” in your ear lately, but you are unsure of what baggage is holding you back, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me to see if ThetaHealing is your gateway to living the life you know you deserve. Together, I would love to see you rise to your highest potential and start creating a reality you can be proud of. To schedule an appointment with me, please visit my Offerings page to schedule a session .

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